As written in an earlier post, trauma resulting from abuse can take different shapes and cause different behaviors as long as the trauma is not resolved or treated.
Especially among men, it is common that the abuse victim becomes an abuser themselves. This also can take many forms again, but the main forms are relationship behaviors that come close to Borderline Personality Disorder, or to paranoia, unjust accusations and aggressiveness.
Certain types of manipulation can also be a result, whether or not conscious is a different story.
Women often resort to emotional blackmail or anxiety, which often isn’t easy for the social environment either.
The question why abuse victims end up being abusive themselves is a complicated one, even for experts. Depending on the duration of the abuse, this may be the only way they know of how a relationship “has to be”.
Very rarely an abusive victim, that themselves becomes abusive can break this downward spiral on their own. A partner or friends who try to help breaking that cycle often don’t receive the appreciation they would deserve and often have to give way more than they can handle giving.
Seeking professional help is the best way for the abuse victim to break out of this downwards spiral as it is the most fair to the people that surround and worry about them.
Ultimately, the behavior is very self-destructive for the abusive abuse victim as in the long run they will cause self-isolation as people become careful and start to avoid them.
If you are an abuse victim and notice that you feel threatened by the world and think that most people just want to use you please seek help immediately as it is not fair to take this out on the people around you.
If you have such a person among your friends or as a partner, try to steer them gently towards professional help and monitor your own mental health closely, and set boundaries if you notice that you suffer from that situation.